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posted by [personal profile] crowley at 06:08pm on 17/02/2001
What is it with me and feeling bad? Last night I was feeling sick, and today I have a massive stomachache...but I took some Pepto-Bismol, so it should be all right in a few.
Mood:: achey
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posted by [personal profile] crowley at 01:09pm on 17/02/2001

Wait another minute. Can't you see what this pain has fucking done to me.
I'm alive and still kickin'. What you see I can't see and maybe
you'll think before you speak.

I'm alive for you. I'm awake because of you.
I'm alive I told you. I'm awake swallowing you

Take another second. Turn your back on me and make believe that
you're always happy.
It's safe to say you're never alive. A big part of you has died
and by the way, I hope you're satisfied.

Tearing it back unveiling me.
Taking a step back so I can breathe.
Hear the silence about to break.
Fear resistance when I'm awake.


Mood:: 'groggy' groggy
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posted by [personal profile] crowley at 05:21pm on 16/02/2001
It's over.
Music:: A Perfect Circle--Over
Mood:: 'gloomy' gloomy
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posted by [personal profile] crowley at 05:29am on 16/02/2001
Tonight I saw my very first episode of the Dukes of Hazzard (when I should have been studying for my test). Let me just say that I want the General Lee. I don't care if it's got the Confederate flag on it, is named after a Confederate general, and plays Dixie when the horn is pressed...that's one bad-ass car. Now I'm a disgrace to my race, but oh well. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Mood:: 'exhausted' exhausted
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posted by [personal profile] crowley at 12:45am on 16/02/2001
I've got a Greek myths tomorrow, but I haven't studied one single thing. Been having too much fun watching the shocked faces of people passing through the lounge as Real Sex is playing on the communal tv. Heh heh.
Mood:: 'horny' horny
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posted by [personal profile] crowley at 11:38pm on 14/02/2001
Just got back from the game and dinner. The game was great, we won against Georgia Tech. Dinner was excellent, if a bit pricey for my tastes. Now all that's left is a good conversation with the one I love and maybe a conversation with my best friend to finally clear up the air.

"...You said boy make girl feel good But still I've never felt alone Till I met you I'm alright on my own Till I met you..."
--Deep Inside of You, Third Eye Blind
Mood:: 'full' full
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posted by [personal profile] crowley at 05:05pm on 14/02/2001
It's a dreary day here...perfect I guess for Valentine's Day. No valentine and a few things in my life are a bit messed up right now. Ah, hell, who am I trying to fool? Things are pretty fucked up between Deborah and me. I admit fault to some of it but I don't know if she's willing to take her share of blame, as if she ever really has. I haven't heard from her in about a week and what I did hear saddened me greatly. Friends are supposed to be people who will stick by you and talk to you and be there for you no matter what happens to you or what you do. And if they have a problem with any of that, then they should tell you instead of simply vanishing without a word. That hurts more than any words she could ever say. What kind of friend abandons you when you need them the most? A friend who isn't really a friend.
All this because of something I did--not to her, but to someone who I now consider much closer to myself than she is. I didn't even really do what I told her I was going to do, and yet still she shuns me. Of course I did do something else, which I feel bad for doing but don't regret, and I told Kevin that I did it. We were both hurt by it but we made it through better and stronger and because of what I did, he came to see me. I'd do it all over again just for that wonderful week that he gave me. Who knows when I would've ever seen him?
And still, she doesn't talk to me.
Not once have I ever ignored her or refused to be with her because of something that Deborah's done that I considered wrong. Those of you who know both of us know that.
I understand the need to think...but what is there to think about, really? You tell me.
This is my journal so of course I'm saying whatever the hell I want, but I've spoken nothing but the I see it and as I've been told.
Once again...happy valentine's day everyone.
Music:: Emilee's mp3's
Mood:: 'contemplative' contemplative
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posted by [personal profile] crowley at 12:04pm on 14/02/2001
Two tests down, one more to go.

Arghh...stupid egreetings...two people have sent me e-Valentines but I can't look at them for some reason.

Happy V-day to ALL my loved ones.
Mood:: 'loved' loved
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posted by [personal profile] crowley at 11:53am on 13/02/2001
Wish me luck. I have a stats test today, a psychology test tomorrow and a greek myths test on Friday. ::sighs:: College is fun except for when classes interfere.
Mood:: 'rushed' rushed
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posted by [personal profile] crowley at 02:30am on 13/02/2001
Missing you terribly...
Mood:: 'melancholy' melancholy
Music:: A Perfect Circle


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